Anderson Cooper and The Glass Closet

Of the many obnoxious media-fabricated terms (zero tolerance, too black, etc), the one that’s been pissing me off the most of late is “the glass closet.”

What is the glass closet?

Well, the glass closet is a place created by gossip columnists, such as Mike Signorile and Perez Hilton, to put pressure on allegedly closeted gay men and women to come out of the closet. A closet is considered to be made of glass when someone, such as Anderson Cooper, is openly gay in his personal life, but hasn’t yet come out in his professional or public life. And while I understand the activist strategy behind the creation of the glass closet, I do not agree with its existence whatsoever.

Here’s the thing: there are many different types of activists – those of the “we’re here and we’re queer” variety who believe that the louder they are, the more attention their issue will receive in the mainstream media and, thus, trickle down into society; those who believe actions speak louder than words; and those who speak up through their art, journalism, writing etc. ALL are important. Interestingly, none of them can exist without one another – which is why I’m a little frustrated.

Why can’t we all realize that we’re working towards the same goal?

Of the different types of activists I mentioned above, ironically the most closed-minded and conservative of the bunch, are the loudest of all. They have an extremely myopic and absolutist point of view about the world, and have no interest in entertaining other ways of thinking. If the “we’re here and we’re queer” queers bust open the doors, the more tempered activists keep them open. But what I’ve come to find is that often times (but not always) the loudest activists are a little older, and have a tough time relating to younger activists (and vice versa) – leaving so-called ‘communities’ in total disarray; not relating to one another.

While struggles between older people and younger people are certainly nothing new, the gay male community feels like an out of control high school cafeteria as opposed to a united force. Older gay men who lived through everything from the Stonewall riots of 1968 to the AIDS crisis of the 80s have spent a good majority of their lives fighting for the lifestyle and rights that we younger gays now enjoy – AND sometimes take for granted, I might add. But with the recent comings out (coming outs?) of Anderson Cooper, etc, the bickering around the “glass closet” has been louder than ever – and it’s mostly coming from older gay men who believe Anderson should’ve come out sooner.

When Anderson (of the actions speak louder than words/journalist activist variety) came out of the closet a couple of weeks ago, I had the same reaction that many of my 20-30-something friends had: “And?”

You see, in 2012, coming out of the closet is not as big of a deal as it was even 5 years ago; largely due to the efforts of the men and women that loudly came out before us. It’s a good thing, and while I know the pressure needs to be kept up, there are ways to do it and ways not to do it. Creating a glass closet is not the way.

Here in NYC (and in many other circles across the country), Anderson Cooper has been known to be gay for years. Why didn’t he come out publicly and declare his gayness? I have no clue, but it’s none of my business and none of yours either. Yes, he’s a public figure – but does that mean he must adhere to some kind of gay rulebook just because he’s well known? I mean, for what it’s worth (and I think it’s worth a lot), Anderson has devoted countless segments on his show to the bullying crisis in America. One could argue that his entire show portrays Anderson as a quiet activist who reports stories of injustice – no matter the type. He lets his journalism do the talking.

So, what’s wrong with that?

The argument for following the gay rulebook is something that Mike Signorile and Perez Hilton have been preaching for years. They believe that by not coming out of the closet publicly, people like Anderson Cooper send a message of shame to the rest of the community, country, world, universe, solar system, etc – especially to those in the closet.

I disagree.

Is the world a better place for having Anderson out of the closet? Sure. But let him and other public figures do so on their own terms. Shame is something that is created. In the case of the glass closet, the shame behind it has been created by the media – not the person inside it (Anderson). Unless you’re watching Sex & The City, glass closets don’t exist. They’ve been fabricated by the media as a way TO SHAME the people supposedly living inside them.

As someone who’s spent a good portion of his life living in shame created from sexual abuse, I can tell you right now that it’s an awful feeling – one that you would not wish on your worst enemy. <—— See that word? Enemy. In essence, people such as Mike Signorile and Perez Hilton are creating more enemies than friends within their own community. Most people I know have never heard of Mike, but everyone I know despises Perez Hilton – largely because of what he’s done to ‘out’ the personal lives of his fellow gays.

If people such as Mike Signorile and Perez Hilton are not going to evolve with society, then maybe we should help them to realize that it’s not the private lives of public figures, such as Anderson Cooper, that should be held responsible for holding the torch-of-societal integration of gays. Being an activist is a choice, not an obligation. If you want to really help to change the small minds of middle America, people need to be able to come out on their own terms. Instead, why not spend your time helping to educate ignorant parents about how to support their children through their journey?

Who someone has sex with is their business. The kind of sex they like is their business. Who you are in the bedroom and in your personal life is not a juicy piece of gossip. The real shame is in people such as Mike and Perez making people feel a-shamed about their own personal decisions. Shaming someone is an awful way to get your point across. I appreciate the intention to ‘normalize’ and integrate gay people in with the rest of society, but there are better ways to do it than trying to make public figures speak about their personal lives.

Fred Hystere

Daily Dickhead: Patrick “Gay Sex Causes Diaper Wearing” Wooden

As gay people in the US slowly begin to gain the rights they deserve, the heterosexual obsession with the homosexual lifestyle has reached fever pitch in the last few years. As is the case with most issues of human rights, the conversation against gay rights continues to be dictated by heterosexual men, who frankly find the idea of sex between two men to be repulsive. And my question continues to be WHY DO THEY CARE?!

As many of you know, I’ve highlighted many absurd arguments made by various people against the gay lifestyle. However, out of all of the arguments that I’ve heard, I don’t think I can honestly say that I’ve heard anyone use the having-anal-sex-leads-to-a-lifetime-of-wearing-diapers-and-buttplugs-stance.

Yes, a North Carolina pastor, by the name of Patrick Wooden, was a guest on Peter LaBarbera and Matt Barber’s Christian verbal orgy and got EXTREMELY graphic about the dangers of anal sex.

He said: “The God of the Bible made the human sperm, the God of the Bible designed it and it was not designed to be emptied into an area that is filled with feces, there is nothing for it to germinate with, it will most certainly mean the extinction of the human race. My belief is that if the medical community would just step forward and just would share with the American people what happens to the male anus, the problems that homosexuals have with their rectums, the damage that is done, the operations that are needed to sew up their bodies if you will, and how many of the men don’t even give these stitches time to heal before they are back out there practicing that wicked behavior. Some are bleeders, men who are not turned off by ingesting the feces of other men… If the truth was told, people would literally gag and no one would want to be in a lifestyle like that. Who wants to practice anything that is going to ultimately lead a grown man to about the time he’s in his 40s or 50s, or what not, having to wear a diaper or a butt plug just to be able to contain their bowels?”

Fascinating. I mean who knew that in between visits to Tim Tebow in Denver, god spends his time designing anally-incompatible sperm?

Here’s the deal, peeps: I hinted earlier this week that I just may have had sex once or twice in my life. This may shock you, but I’ve also had a fair amount of butt sex, too – both ways. And guess what? I haven’t worn a diaper since I was a baby and I’ve never used a butt plug. Yes, folks, my asshole is fine – thanks for asking.

Side note: The male g-spot is located…..drumroll, please….in the ass! Believe it.

Listen to the absurdity below.

Daily Dickhead: Rick “The Bigoted Racist” Santorum

santorumI was really hoping to find a more light-hearted story to write about for today’s Daily Dickhead, mostly because I miss adding a little satire into my writing. However, I simply cannot ignore the fecal matter being spewed from the mouth of Republican Presidential candidate Rick Santorum.

If you’re a political junkie like me, you’re probably already aware that the Iowa caucus is on the minds of every 24 hour news station 24 hours a day. In which case, you’re probably also aware that former Senator from Pennsylvania, Rick Santorum, is surging in the polls and quite possibly may end up winning the Iowan Republican caucus later today.

It’d take wayyyyyyyyy too long for me to go down the list of appalling things Santorum has said over the years. Plus, why spend time looking for old soundbites when, in the past few days, Santorum has been nothing but a walking soundbite waiting to happen. However, even for Santorum, he was in rare form yesterday when he not only promised to invalidate all gay marriages should he become President, but he also managed to throw down another racist comment to go with one from early 2011.

Quite a busy 24 hours of hate, dontcha think?

In response to a question from Chuck Todd about what would happen to existing marriages if he signed a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages, Santorum said: “Well, their marriage would be invalid. I think if the constitution says ‘marriage is this,’ then people whose marriage is not consistent with the constitution… I’d love to think there’s another way of doing it.”

In the clip below he keeps talking about marriage being a ‘special’ relationship. And I just don’t get why people think it’s OK to give special privileges to one group of people over another. I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but what on earth is the point of denying people happiness? At the end of the day, does it make these Republicans happy that they’re preventing a specific group of people from having a chance at a loving life with one another?

Next, Santorum decided to make a very off color, blatantly racist comment about black people and government assistance.

He said: “I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money. I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money and provide for themselves and their families.

*Interesting side note: The amount of white people on government assistance FAR outnumbers the amount of black people.

And now a little history..

While speaking about President Obama’s views on abortion earlier last year, he said: “I find it almost remarkable for a black man to say, ‘No, we are gonna decide who are people and who are not people.’


Watch all 3 videos below.

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy



Daily Dickhead: Janice “The Troll Of Troy” Daniels (R-MI)

The Tea Party was allegedly supposed to be comprised of a bunch of people fed up with the ways of Washington who wanted to help enact real financial reform after the Wall Street meltdown of 2008. However, it’s become very clear that Tea Partiers are truly just a rebranded version of the extreme Right Wing of the Republican Party; comprised of evangelical Christians and extreme social conservatives.

Janice Daniels is the Republican mayor of Troy, Michigan; elected just four weeks ago on a platform of ‘Tea Party values.’ She kind of looks like Christine Baranski’s ugly cross-eyed sister, but (unlike many tea partiers) seems to understand how to speak the English language – which is one of the reasons why the following Facebook status she wrote in response to New York state’s legalization of gay marriage in June is extremely offensive:

“I think I am going to throw away my ‘I love New York’ carrying bag now that queers can get married there.”

Yea? Wow, you’re SUCH a diva!

In between overly-applying eye shadow, shopping at Ross’s and fixing the hair helmet on her head, Daniels was interviewed by a local news station about her comments and said:

“I regret having said it. It was inappropriate language that I used to describe a group of people, although I do believe that marriage is between one man and one woman. It was just an inappropriate remark and I apologize for it.”

When asked about her thoughts on gay rights, she said this:

“I think as the mayor of Troy my personal opinions aren’t really of the issue. I don’t think it’s an issue the mayor of Troy needs to address.”

Here’s my issue. If Daniels had made the same comment about ANY other minority, she would’ve been drummed out of office. But because she’s speaking about gay people, it’s ok? She says she doesn’t think gay rights is an ‘issue the mayor of Troy needs to address’ which is basically saying ‘gay people don’t live in Troy’ and it’s not an issue. Was she not elected to represent ALL people?

With all of the news about kids being bullied left and right for being gay, our elected officials NEED to be the ones that come out publicly against incendiary language, i.e., anything derogatory. The only way we’re going to be able to get past the issue of bullying is when ‘adults’ in the room (i.e., government officials, teachers and parents) begin acting like adults and setting the example.

Disappointing. Bitch. Disappointing, bitch.

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