Daily Dickhead: Newt “OWS Protesters Should Take Showers And Get Jobs” Gingrich

I haven’t had a chance to get my feelings on paper re: Occupy Wall Street. But, after paying close attention for the last week or so to everything from Michael Bloomberg’s uncalled-for raid of Zuccotti Park in NYC, to the countless offensive comments being hurled at the protestors via our elected/bought officials in Congress, I decided over the weekend that I simply can’t take it anymore. However, today, my anger is directed towards one man: Newt Gingrich.

While the past week has seen my blood boil steadily for the aforementioned reasons above, I officially blew my stack after watching the comments made by uber-slimeball/lying dickwad, Newt Gingrich, during the 844534599th Republican presidential debate in Iowa over the weekend.

According to Mediaite: “Gingrich argued that Occupy movement was grounded in entitlement– ‘all the Occupy movement starts with the premise that we all owe them everything.’ With that in mind, Gingrich explained that their point was to ‘self-righteously explain that they are the paragons of virtue to which we owe everything,’ which was indicative of ‘how the left has collapsed as a moral system.’ Gingrich concluded with a flourish that the group needs to ‘go get a job after you take a bath’ to raucous applause, and the praise of federal candidate Herman Cain.”

Before I go after Gingrich, let me just say that I find the Occupy Wall Street movement to be one of the most invigorating things to happen in my lifetime. The criticisms have been plenty: What is their goal? Who is their leader? Where do they poop? But in my mind, the message has been pretty clear: We want jobs and we’re sick of having a COUNTRY (not just an economy, but a COUNTRY) controlled only by the wealthiest people.

From healthcare to unemployment to corruption to social injustice, women’s rights and more, the amount of power that the wealthiest 1% have right now is staggering and appalling. Occupy Wall Street is an ENORMOUS movement filled with people that are upset about a whole myriad of issues and for a whole host of reasons.

Activism comes in all shapes and sizes and, truthfully, the only people that don’t understand activism are those that aren’t activists themselves.  From the obnoxiously loud, to the silently marching, the goal of activism is to get as many people as possible to talk about issues that aren’t being talked about – in the hopes of creating real change from the bottom up as opposed to from the top down. I think the protesters are doing a great job and I hope they’ll be able to keep it up through the cold winter months and beyond.

Ok, now let’s talk Newt Gingrich.

If the bar of ethics is being set by Newt Gingrich we are all in serious trouble. Gingrich is the same man who got President Clinton impeached for having an extra marital affair while he was in office……all while at the same time HE was having his own extramarital affair while…..um…IN OFFICE! He’s also a man who divorced his wife as she lay dying of cancer. I could go on and on, but in a nutshell he IS the slimiest of the slime.

Last Friday, Rachel Maddow took Gingrich to task in a way that only she can, when she said:

“Newt Gingrich… is a scam! Newt Gingrich’s profession since he got kicked out of Congress under a cloud of ethics charges related to fundraising, his full-time profession has been selling access to himself as someone who is influential because of his time as a public servant. He has been marketing the Speakership of the House for his own private financial gain to anybody who will pay him. Anybody he can scam money out of, even if he has to do it by fax with fake handwriting. For decades he has been doing this, this is why he is now a zillionaire.”

Watch Gingrich’s gross comments below and then Rachel Maddow’s perfect summary of why he sucks, below that.



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Daily Dickhead: Mike “I Get Sexually Harassed At Popeye’s” Huckabee

In the past couple of years, few people have said more outlandish things to get attention than Mike Fuckabee. From his incessant gay marriage/polygamy comparisons, to the racist lies he spewed about President Obama’s childhood, Mike Fuckabee is one of those people who I just wish would keel over and die. Yes, I just wished death upon another person and, no, I don’t feel bad about it.

Everytime Fuckabee appears in the news, chances are he’s planning to offend someone – and this week he’s decided to make light of the entire act of sexual harassment by accusing women of basically overreacting. On his Fox ‘News’ show last Saturday, Fuckabee took the time to address the sexual harassment allegations against Herman Cain by making an incredibly tasteless comparison between the women victimized by Herman Cain, and what happens everytime he walks into Popeye’s to get food. (So basically every other hour..)

He says: “I realized that I, myself, have been a victim of sexual harassment and I didn’t even know it. The ladies behind the counter call me ‘Honey,’ ‘Sweetie,’ and ‘Darlin’.’ …Maybe instead of feeling at home, I should have been offended, called a lawyer, and demanded free spicy chicken for life. I’m not making light of real sexual harassment – we obviously have real issues in this country – like raging unemployment, foreclosures for many homeowners, small business operators going belly up and a national debt that’s destroying our future. Surely those issues matter a whole lot more than a southern man calling an employee, ‘Sweetie’ 15 years ago.”

Oh! I get it! There’s real sexual harassment and fake sexual harassment. Fake sexual harassment happens because women want attention and love to lie about being touched inappropriately, and real sexual harassment doesn’t matter because people are out of work and going through foreclosures. Gotcha.

As for the hilarious Popeye’s comparison,  considering his body is shaped like the reflection in a carnival mirror, you’ve got to wonder if Fuckabee really thinks he can make anyone believe that he doesn’t ‘demand free spicy chicken’ everywhere he goes.

The trend of de-legitimization and belittling of women in this country is becoming more and more blatant by the day. But, with Fuckabee,  it’s all under the guise of being a ‘man of faith’..so it’s all good, right?!

God I hate him so much.

Watch the video below.


Hate Herman Cain? Blame President Obama

The Republican Party has turned into the laughing stock of our political system, thanks to crackpots such as Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich and many many more. They’ve become so socially conservative that, by comparison, they make George Bush look like a liberal; while making it clear that The Republican Party is a party for only the wealthiest of Americans. Which brings me to the tragedy of President Obama..

The people who are remembered most fondly in the world are those that were both leaders and visionaries, such as Steve Jobs, and the same goes for Presidents. While I believe that President Obama is certainly capable of the sort of conviction one needs in order to be a leader, he seems to lack the same visionary quality that former Presidents such as FDR, JFK, Teddy Roosevelt and Woodrow Wilson had. Visionaries don’t play politics — they see untraveled paths and take them without fear, regardless of how unpopular they may be. Obama has played it incredibly safe, reacting to Republicans and, though he’s accomplished a lot, he hasn’t really pushed the envelope in any appreciable way, in my opinion, and has done a piss poor job at selling his ideas to the American public.

In 2008, I was more excited than I’ve ever been to exercise my right to vote.  For the first time in my lifetime, people of all ages were excited about politics again and it was all because of President Obama. But three years later, like many people my age, I don’t believe in the President enough anymore to give him my vote for any reason other than because he’s a lesser-of-two evils, which makes me very sad.

Though my mother disagrees, I truly believe that the younger generations in the US are progressively liberal. Given that fact, why The President decided to spend his first four years largely abandoning 18-35 year olds is beyond me. Because if he was the type of visionary I wanted to believe that he was back in 2008, he’d understand that apart from anything else, his ‘golden ticket’ towards a 2nd term lies in the youth vote — a group that was heavily on his side a few years ago. Instead of sitting on the sidelines waiting for him to do something, that age group has taken matters into their own hands with the Occupy Wall Street movement. This is a fight Obama should’ve been leading from the beginning, and has only begun to show interest in again now that he’s up for re-election.

Which brings me to my Daily Dickhead, Herman Cain.

I don’t for a minute believe that Herman Cain has a chance to become President of the United States of America in 2012, but I blame President Obama for the popularity of crackpots such as Cain and the rest of them. By catering towards groups of people that were never going to vote for him anyway, the rise of people such as Cain has been made possible. That Cain’s voice is being heard by anyone other than his wife is very troubling, and I’ve heard several otherwise intelligent people having conversations about Cain and how excited they are to vote for him.

Currently, Cain is promoting an autobiography and has recently been seen making the publicity rounds to every major media outlet there is — giving plenty of insane soundbites along the way. A few of the more frightening ones from the past week are below. Be afraid..be very afraid.

Daily Dickhead(s): Joe “Head Up My Ass” Scarborough and Herman “9/11 Opportunist” Cain

On a daily basis, I receive a RIDICULOUS amount of emails from PR firms, artists, producers and more, asking me to listen to their music & give it a good review on my site. Among my friends and sex partners (sorry, I couldn’t resist), I’m known as a straight shooter who always gives his honest opinion. But because I have such an immense respect and passion for artists making music, I tend to only write about music that I like. And in fact, I have an unwritten rule (about my writing) that I try to follow as best as I can:

“Write about music you love and politicians you hate.”

However one massive stipulation to that rule (that I just made up) is the following:

“If a politician you hate creates a song that you hate, that politician is automatically inducted into the Fred Hystere Dickhead Hall Of Fame (ESPECIALLY if the song in question falls into the category of country music).”

Today we have not one, but TWO offenders that have taken my just-made-up massive stipulation and deep fried it into gross overly-American songs with music videos that are so full of disturbingly opportunistic 9/11 imagery that you’ll wonder whether the attacks took place in a war torn country (after watching the first video) or literally out IN the country (after watching the second). And who are the two offenders in question? Former Republican Congressman-turned talk show host, Joe Scarborough, and former pizza chain owner-turned Republican Presidential candidate, Herman Cain.

Originally, I was going to call Cain’s video more offensive than Scarborough’s, but offensive is offensive; they just happen to be offensive in different ways. But what I will say, is that Cain’s video takes political whoring to heights last seen seeping out of John McCain’s bullshit-filled Depends. It features relentless replays of planes flying into the World Trade Center on 9/11, followed by a tear-stained look of longing at the end which is only outdone on the tacky scale by the fact that we have to hear his voice singing “God Bless America” acapella throughout the duration of the video.

Scarborough, on the other hand, takes a bit of a different route towards being offensive by taking a pass at country music stardom AND actually writing and SINGING the lyrics to the song featured in his cornier-than-a-field-of-Nebraskan-crops video. The song is entitled “Reason To Believe” and one wonders what ON EARTH indeed made him ‘believe’ that 1) He’s a songwriter 2) He’s a singer and 3) ANYONE WANTS TO HEAR HIM SINGING COUNTRY MUSIC SONGS ABOUT ANYTHING (much less terrorist attacks)?

It’s always so sad to me when a public figure uses his or her voice to ‘cash in’ on a tragedy, even if they’re doing it personally as opposed to financially. I’ve been watching Scarborough for years and if there is a bigger egomaniac walking around MSNBC, I’d sure love to know who it is. In fact, I’d love to know whether he’s able to get his head out of his own ass long enough to be able to take a shit before having the ‘morning cup’ of himself everyday on TV.

Alex Pareene at Salon sums up the way I feel about the whole situation perfectly by saying: “I’m sure this was all meant with the best possible intentions, or at least done without the intention of actively harming anyone, but there are few things on this earth grosser than the vanity projects of millionaires. It is sort of immediately apparent to anyone not living in a bubble of celebrity that commemorating the tenth anniversary of a national tragedy by releasing a crappy charity country single is incredibly narcissistic and gross behavior.”

This sort of ‘Look at me! Look at me!’ behavior that injects ego into charity is gross. Oh yea..and in this case, it’s also ear rape.

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