Daily Dickhead: Rick “The Bigoted Racist” Santorum

santorumI was really hoping to find a more light-hearted story to write about for today’s Daily Dickhead, mostly because I miss adding a little satire into my writing. However, I simply cannot ignore the fecal matter being spewed from the mouth of Republican Presidential candidate Rick Santorum.

If you’re a political junkie like me, you’re probably already aware that the Iowa caucus is on the minds of every 24 hour news station 24 hours a day. In which case, you’re probably also aware that former Senator from Pennsylvania, Rick Santorum, is surging in the polls and quite possibly may end up winning the Iowan Republican caucus later today.

It’d take wayyyyyyyyy too long for me to go down the list of appalling things Santorum has said over the years. Plus, why spend time looking for old soundbites when, in the past few days, Santorum has been nothing but a walking soundbite waiting to happen. However, even for Santorum, he was in rare form yesterday when he not only promised to invalidate all gay marriages should he become President, but he also managed to throw down another racist comment to go with one from early 2011.

Quite a busy 24 hours of hate, dontcha think?

In response to a question from Chuck Todd about what would happen to existing marriages if he signed a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages, Santorum said: “Well, their marriage would be invalid. I think if the constitution says ‘marriage is this,’ then people whose marriage is not consistent with the constitution… I’d love to think there’s another way of doing it.”

In the clip below he keeps talking about marriage being a ‘special’ relationship. And I just don’t get why people think it’s OK to give special privileges to one group of people over another. I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but what on earth is the point of denying people happiness? At the end of the day, does it make these Republicans happy that they’re preventing a specific group of people from having a chance at a loving life with one another?

Next, Santorum decided to make a very off color, blatantly racist comment about black people and government assistance.

He said: “I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money. I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money and provide for themselves and their families.

*Interesting side note: The amount of white people on government assistance FAR outnumbers the amount of black people.

And now a little history..

While speaking about President Obama’s views on abortion earlier last year, he said: “I find it almost remarkable for a black man to say, ‘No, we are gonna decide who are people and who are not people.’

Cute.

Watch all 3 videos below.

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Daily Dickhead(s): Personhood Mississippi

I’m about to take a while to get to my point – so bear with me…

I tend not to look at stats very often as they relate to my numbers here on the site – mostly because I don’t want anything to ever begin to chip away at the sheer enjoyment I get out of writing every day. Though the stats do tell me some pretty interesting things about my readership, they do not break down my readership via state. However, if they did, I’m pretty sure I’d find that the state of Mississippi doesn’t hold the largest concentration of Fredheads – by any stretch.

Of the many jobs I’ve had over the years, selling wholesale body piercing jewelry to tattoo & piercing shops is definitely up there with the most random jobs I’ve ever had. I was one of the top salespeople at our company and traveled a ton for work. One of the places I traveled was – you guessed it – Mississippi.

Being smack dab in the midst of my sluttiest of slutty phases, I was warned by friends and ‘clients’ to stay away from gay bars in Mississippi because men with bats apparently like to wait outside for the gays to stumble out of the bar every night.

When I went down to MS, I stayed in Jackson and was pretty fascinated by what I witnessed while exploring the capital city. It was almost as if my civil war history textbooks from high school had been frozen in time as black people were gardening (plantation-style) on large estates in the baking summer sun. And while walking around downtown, it didn’t take long to figure out Confederate flag memorabilia was more common that a mouthful of teeth or that the n-word was readily rolling off the tongues of white people as readily as “y’all.”

But, perhaps most of all, the thing that struck me the most was the poverty. Driving around some of the most impoverished areas, you’d have sworn you were in the middle of a save-the-children commercial in Africa as opposed to the capital city of one of the 50 US states. I’ll never forget those images as long as I live.

Ever since I can remember, Mississippi has consistently ranked as the poorest and least educatated state in the union. It’s also a heavily Republican state having not voted for a Democrat since 1976.

Just yesterday, I wrote about the Republican strategy for winning elections: Religion + misinformation + stupid people = win. I’m not one to really kick people when they’re down, so I’ll refrain from calling Mississippians ‘stupid.’ Instead let me just say that the “Personhood Mississippi” initiative being voted on next week in the state REAKS of misinforming less educated people.

According to Right Wing Watch: “The proposed law would criminalize abortions without exceptions without exceptions rape, incest or health of the mother, but also potentially ban certain forms of birth control, the treatment of ectopic and problem pregnancies and in-vitro fertilization…”

Considering I’m in a totally goofy mood, I was hoping to keep the subject matter of today’s Daily Dickhead light and funny today – but this proposed law is being voted on NEXT WEEK in Mississippi and the activist in me is telling me to beat the drum of equality loud and clear for women’s rights. Share this with everyone you know and hopefully we can do our part to help educate the voters in Mississippi about what they’re REALLY voting on next week.

Watch the video below and if you’re pressed for time, fast-forward to the fourth minute for the Personhood Mississippi story.

 

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Lou Engle Wins Hide & Seek; Finds God At Walmart

“Prophet” Lou Engle has made a career out of communicating with god and has just found him shopping in the most unlikely of places: Walmart.

For those of you that hadn’t noticed, we’re in the middle of a recession here in the US; forcing many of us to pinch our pennies more than ever and look for discounts at every opportunity. To ease the financial pain, many people seem to like to go to church to pray their troubles away and find god.

Well what would you say if I told you that there’s a place where you can find great everyday items (made by Chinese infants for pennies per day) at unbeatable prices AND find god at the SAME time?!

I dunno about you, but this is a level of killing-two-birds-with-one-stone that sounds almost too good to believe in. Allow me to explain..

Meet Lou Engle. Lou is ‘an American charismatic Christian leader’ and ‘prophet’ best known (to me) for praising the government of Uganda in its efforts to criminalize and kill gay people back in 2010…and then later condemning (small ‘c’) the Ugandan government for threatening violence towards gays. (Interesting how Engle characterizes murder as ‘violence’.. but that’s just semantics, right?)

He’s also known for taking it anally for the first time on camera as evidenced by the picture above..oops..I mean..

He’s also known for being vehemently against abortion, and has recently been found verbally masturbating Jane Porter’s ‘Heartbeat Bill’ in OH, which (as we discussed a few days ago) would criminalize abortions in a majority of cases.

In the midst of one of his anti-abortion speeches in Toledo, OH last week, Engle paused to tell a heartwarming story that involved his daughter racing around inside a local Walmart, falling and cracking her head open..or something. He spoke of holding her bleeding head for a little while and then having an epiphany..

He says: “I didn’t understand it until just this moment that that’s how God feels for every baby.”

Next, he told a story about a girl who planned to have an abortion until she found a ‘LIFE wristband’ in a Walmart parking lot; leading him to make one of the best and most ridiculous comments this side of Michele Bachmann by saying:

“God has something to say to us in Walmart parking lots, prayer is moving this nation!”

Wow. Who knew that you could buy hostess cupcakes and Hanes underwear at unbeatable prices and THEN walk outside and have a conversation with god on the way to your car?

I dunno about you, but I know where I’m going this weekend..

Jane Porter and Anna, The Waving Fetus, Fight Abortion In Ohio (VIDEO)

Bible Humptress, Jane Porter, has been carrying fetuses around with her for months in an attempt to drum up support for her Heartbeat Bill, which seeks to criminalize abortions in the state of OH. Frighteningly enough, the fetus-testifying strategy seems to be working, as the bill has actually *passed* in the Ohio State House and is currently headed to the Republican-lead State Senate for a vote later this year.

Her bill has been endorsed by everyone from Bert and Ernie to Big Bird, Snuffleupagus and Count Dracula…oh wait…I mean..

Her bill has been endorsed by everyone from fag hag, Michelle Bachmann, to Texas Governor, Rick Perry, to Newt Gingrich, a man so pro-his own-life that he left his terminally-ill wife for another woman..while she died of cancer. Yes, Janet Porter has done a fantastic job of rounding up as many mental midgets as she can fit into her fetus-stuffed purse in the hopes of criminalizing abortion and, thus, protecting the state of Ohio from the very real threat of tornados. Seriously.

Porter is in fact so sure that her ‘Heartbeat’ bill is going to become law that she recently said “I can see the end of abortion from here, that’s how close we are. Everything we have prayed is happening…God has been in this from the beginning.” (What exactly god has been ‘in’ is unclear, but I’m sure he communicates with her regularly, so we’ll just have to take her word for it, right?)

Last week, Porter decided to organize another fetus-speaking rally to drum up EVEN MORE support for her bill. And, as she’s done a few times now, Jane invited a fetus to speak on behalf of the bill; enlisting the services of Ducia Hamm of the Ashland Care Center to introduce everyone to fetus ‘Anna’ via ultrasound.

Luckily, while ‘Anna’ can’t really speak, good ole Ducia can, and just so happens to be proficient in the translation of Fetus-to-English. As you’ll see in the video below,  through her Fetus-to-English translation, Ducia was able to inform the audience that, via ultrasound, Anna is “screaming to you ‘I’m alive!’” AND and and and…..waving ‘hello!’

Oh, Anna…

On a side note, I’ve been digging and digging and digging, but I just can’t seem to find any evidence that acid has been legalized in the state of Ohio. Surely there can’t be any other explanation for fetus-speaking, can there?

Watch the video below.

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