..Depends, a super-sized bottle of laxatives, some yummy Chef Boyardee creation and Tylenol PM. You know, so that if she doesn’t shit her drawers from the Chef Boyardee, she can always pop a few laxatives, put on some diapers, and pass the pass the fuck out. Smart.
thinks a Kindle sounds like a masturbation technique for women.
ME: Hey, Ma.
MOTHER: Hi, Honey. Everything ok?
ME: Yea, I’m bored.
MOTHER: What are you doing?
ME (laughing): Sexting with some slut.
MOTHER: You’re texting yourself?
ME (not laughing): Oh.