Daily Dickhead(s): Fox “News” & Father Jonathan “Panties In A Wad” Morris

Of the many problems I have with religion (and people in general), bossiness is towards the top. Worrying about other people’s lives is a convenient way of taking the spotlight away from our own problems – and no one does this better than priests.

Priests are forced into an unrealistic sexless and loveless life which, as we’ve seen in the past few years, can lead to compulsive sexual and violent behavior – not exactly ‘godlike’ if you ask me. The trade-off for becoming a priest is a supposed lifelong relationship with an invisible man who uses the priest as a conduit to give guidance to worshippers of him.

Why is it that we seek guidance in life from people who aren’t really living one themselves? It’s one of the most bizarre phenomenons out there and one that I’ve always had a negative opinion of – and fascination with. Perhaps my negativity towards religion wouldn’t exist if all priests did the job they’re ‘supposed’ to do by reminding us about the good in everyone. However, instead we have opinionated ‘commercial’ priests, such as Fox ‘News’ contributor Jonathan Morris, bouncing around TV shows and preaching about religion the same way Dr. Phil preaches advice.

Since its inception in 1996, Fox News has done a frighteningly brilliant job making money by exposing the sheer stupidity of the American public. The other day I heard a tea partier say on the network that she wanted to ‘abolish the Department Of Education.’ Why? Because she heard on Fox News that securing our borders was more important. While you ponder the randomness of that logic, consider the fact that this woman has been made to believe that what she’s saying is both intelligent and logical. Bascially, Fox News has hijacked Jesus and spends 24 hours a day speaking from his mouth, as far as their viewers are concerned -therefore making anything they say as good as the gospel itself.

Last week, Fox decided to create even more false urgency over something patently absurd by devoting an entire day’s worth of segments on various news shows towards whether or not President Obama should be criticized for omitting the word ‘god’ from his Thanksgiving Day message to the nation. (Mind you, he *did* mention god in the written message.)

Naturally, Fox’s resident expert on all things godly, Jonathan Morris, was so pissed that you could almost see the horns growing out of his head.

He said: “This is from President Obama in that same address we began with. He says that ‘like much of America’ he’s going to spend his Thanksgiving Day ‘eating lots of good food, watching some football, AND..reFLECTING…..ONNNN…how LUCKY we are. Taking time to reflect on how lucky we are while you’re addressing the nation? It’s taking time to reflect on the wonderful blessings that god has given to us.”

Is it? Because, as Jon Stewart pointed out a couple of nights ago on The Daily Show,‘Thanksgiving was a bunch of Pagans teaching religious zealots how to farm.’

Nuff said. Amen.


The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

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