Daily Dickhead: Mike “I Get Sexually Harassed At Popeye’s” Huckabee

In the past couple of years, few people have said more outlandish things to get attention than Mike Fuckabee. From his incessant gay marriage/polygamy comparisons, to the racist lies he spewed about President Obama’s childhood, Mike Fuckabee is one of those people who I just wish would keel over and die. Yes, I just wished death upon another person and, no, I don’t feel bad about it.

Everytime Fuckabee appears in the news, chances are he’s planning to offend someone – and this week he’s decided to make light of the entire act of sexual harassment by accusing women of basically overreacting. On his Fox ‘News’ show last Saturday, Fuckabee took the time to address the sexual harassment allegations against Herman Cain by making an incredibly tasteless comparison between the women victimized by Herman Cain, and what happens everytime he walks into Popeye’s to get food. (So basically every other hour..)

He says: “I realized that I, myself, have been a victim of sexual harassment and I didn’t even know it. The ladies behind the counter call me ‘Honey,’ ‘Sweetie,’ and ‘Darlin’.’ …Maybe instead of feeling at home, I should have been offended, called a lawyer, and demanded free spicy chicken for life. I’m not making light of real sexual harassment – we obviously have real issues in this country – like raging unemployment, foreclosures for many homeowners, small business operators going belly up and a national debt that’s destroying our future. Surely those issues matter a whole lot more than a southern man calling an employee, ‘Sweetie’ 15 years ago.”

Oh! I get it! There’s real sexual harassment and fake sexual harassment. Fake sexual harassment happens because women want attention and love to lie about being touched inappropriately, and real sexual harassment doesn’t matter because people are out of work and going through foreclosures. Gotcha.

As for the hilarious Popeye’s comparison,  considering his body is shaped like the reflection in a carnival mirror, you’ve got to wonder if Fuckabee really thinks he can make anyone believe that he doesn’t ‘demand free spicy chicken’ everywhere he goes.

The trend of de-legitimization and belittling of women in this country is becoming more and more blatant by the day. But, with Fuckabee,  it’s all under the guise of being a ‘man of faith’..so it’s all good, right?!

God I hate him so much.

Watch the video below.


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