A couple of months ago, Texas’s crackhead Governor-turned Presidential candidate, Rick Perry, hosted something in Houston called The Response – “a non-denominational, apolitical Christian prayer meeting to rise up and make a sound that will be heard in heaven.”
While we patiently continue to await results from heaven as to whether or not The Response was indeed heard, ‘prophet’ Lou Engle has decided not to let any grass grow under his Jesus sneakers by recently announcing himself as the host of something called..ummm..“The Call” on 11/11/11 in Detroit.
Considering Lou’s passion for killing-two-birds-with-one-stone, The Call couldn’t be more up his alley if it tried – as it promises to convert Muslims to Christianity and free gays from homosexuality. Since Muslims and gays LOVE each other so much, I’m sure The Call will be a rousing success filled with more conversions than a currency booth at the airport.
Though Lou is certainly more than capable of keeping my manties moist, I can’t tell you how excited I am to hear that my favorite faith healer, David Taylor, will be co-hosting the event. For those of you that haven’t had the pleasure of hearing David speak, his bio pretty much says everything you need to know:
“Since 1989 from the time that he was 17 years old, he has been granted well over 1000 face-to-face visitation appearances from Jesus Christ personally.”
Wow, what a lucky guy. I mean the last time I received a face-to-face visit from a bearded dude with long hair, a trip to The Eagle and shots of tequila were involved – so I can’t imagine how incredible it must be to be able to talk to a real live Jesus in-person (other than Mel Gibson). I wonder what color his time machine is..
I know one thing’s for sure – if you weren’t on board with The Call before, you are now, right? Well that’s definitely a good thing because, according to Engle, those who do not fully embrace The Call’s message can expect Demons to essentially overthrow the city of Detroit. No, seriously.
Clearly aware that Detroit has a very large African American population already cursed by demons, Engle warns that “if black and white can’t move together in prayer and sustain it – forget it let’s not even go there – you get demons seven times worse.”
You hear that, ‘blacks?’ Not 5 times worse..not 6 times worse..but SEVEN times worse. Wow. It sure does sound pretty scientific to me.
Who says Halloween is over?
Watch the video below.