Fred..

had no idea that Chelsea-boys had day jobs, too..

Fred..

is at Dunkin Ballsac where the queen with Madonna’s eyebrows (who works there) is speaking to an American woman of Asian decent as if she’s a baby..and I’m about to freak the fuck out.

QWME: You like creamy cheese with your BAY-GULL?

WOMAN: No, I wanted a bagel with butter.

QWME: What TYPE of BAYGULL with BUTT-ERRRR did you want?

WOMAN: Plain.

ME: I’m pretty sure she can understand English..even yours.

QWME: I’m sorry, I don’t remember anyone asking your opinion.

ME: Look, bitch..you have a line OUT THE DOOR and you’re wasting time speaking to an AMERICAN woman as if she’s an infant. Shall I pour my coffee myself or are you going to speed it up?

QWME: So you’ll be having the usual, I see: Medium iced Hazelnut coffee with a side of impatience.

ME: &$@@$@@$)#**#%%*!!!!!!!!!

Artist Of The Day: Plain Jane Automobile “Your Tomorrow” (Album Stream)

Plain Jane Automobile are today’s Artist Of The Day and they’ve just released their gorgeous debut album, Your Tomorrow.

The four members of PJA include singer Duke Crider, guitarist Luis Mejia, bassist Paul McCorkell and drummer James Dickens. I’m going to try and take my time while writing about these guys because, above all else their music is pure quality; while their story is extremely inspirational and proof that at the end of the day, perseverance, talent and self-belief are all you need to achieve whatever “success” means to you.

Amazingly, this past April, Plain Jane Automobile celebrated their 6th year together as a band after years spent trying to raise the $12,000 it took to record Your Tomorrow. Before I listened to the album for the first time, I decided to do a little research on the band and got as far as reading that they’d opened for both Supergrass and Stereophonics, before abruptly ending my research and diving right in to listen.

Often times when a new band is compared to an established band, the new band ends up falling way short of expectations; so I’ve got to be careful when I say that Plain Jane Automobile remind me of U2 circa 1991. Lead singer, Duke Crider, has one of the most beautiful singing voices you’ll hear this side of Bono and I have a feeling that, as Plain Jane Automobile grow into their sound more and more, they’ll turn down the volume on the guitars just a tad and let Duke’s voice take center stage even more than it does on Your Tomorrow. That said, the dreamy atmospheric rock heard throughout the album, is the perfect compliment to Duke’s soaring vocals and brings to mind everyone from Doves to Muse to even Radiohead.

As I’ve gotten older and experienced things like heartbreak and the death of a parent, I’ve definitely retreated away from my love of introspective alternative rock a la Radiohead, Muse, Doves, etc; mostly because I’ve wanted to focus on the more immediate happiness found within the bowels of pop music.

I guess it’s quite possible that I’m hiding from sadness and, after everything I’ve been through, no one could blame me. But no matter how much I may try to look for the quick emotional fix, away from deeper introspection, there’s no denying how goosbumpingly gorgeous Plain Jane Automobile’s music truly is. Your Tomorrow continues to reward more and more with every listen; while satisfying the 20 year old in me all over again.

My favorite songs on the album are You Were Only A Song, Stones, Yesterday’s Pain and Please Leave Quietly; but you can listen to the entire album below!

*Plain Jane Automobile’s debut album, Your Tomorrow, is out now.

http://www.plainjaneautomobile.com/newalbum.cfm

http://www.facebook.com/plainjaneautomobile

http://www.myspace.com/plainjaneautomobile/

 

Plain Jane Automobile “Your Tomorrow”

 

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The Hotness: Danger Mouse & Daniele Luppi, Doctors & Dealers, Rubik

The Hotness is your daily look at 3 new songs that are amazing, essential, and are sure to make you horny. Ok, the last part isn’t necessarily true. But if you don’t like at least one of these three songs, you need to check 1) Your testosterone levels 2) Your estrogen levels 3) Your hearing.

Danger Mouse & Daniele Luppi’s new album, ROME, is a definite contender for Album Of The Year. Danger Mouse is a musical genius and, should you need any proof, the list of people he’s collaborated includes Damon Albarn (Gorillaz), Cee-Lo Green (Gnarls Barkley), Beck (Modern Guilt), James Mercer (Broken Bells), The Rapture (Pieces Of The People We Love), Martina Topley-Bird (Tricky) and many more. Now, with the release of ROME, he can add Jack White and Norah Jones to the mix and the results are typically breathtaking. Say what you will about Norah Jones, but her voice is simply beautiful. Period. The album clocks in at just over 30 minutes long, but it’s already been the best 30 minutes that I’ve spent every day for the past few weeks thanks to eargasmic songs such as Problem Queen (featuring Norah Jones), which you can hear below.

*Danger Mouse & Daniele Luppi’s new album, ROME, is out 17 May on EMI.

http://romealbum.com/

 

Danger Mouse & Daniele Luppi featuring Norah Jones “Problem Queen”

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Doctors & Dealers is the recording name of Swedish female vocalist, Sparrow Lindgren; who is getting ready to release her third album sometime this summer after releasing an EP late last year. It’s difficult to find much of a bio on Sparrow, as she’s decided to create a fairytale around her whole Doctors & Dealers persona by saying that she lives in a forest and speaks to horses or something. But the music she makes as Doctors & Dealers is pretty interesting and reminds me at times of everyone from The Andrew Sisters to a jazzier Regina Spektor (which makes sense considering Gordon Raphael is producing her new album). It’s extremely clear while listening to every one of Sparrow’s songs that she has a huge imagination and tons of musical influences, but she does a remarkable job creating music full of simple melodies in the process. If you’re a fan of female vocalists, I highly recommend picking up Doctors and Dealers’ latest EP, Trouble. Check out “Backstabber” and “Steal Your Life” below. And stay tuned for her awesomely-titled new album, Every Sinner Has A Future, which hits stores sometime this spring.

*Doctors & Dealers’ Trouble EP is out now and her new album, Every Sinner Has A Future, is out this spring on Bluesong Records.

http://www.doctorsanddealers.com/

 

Doctors & Dealers “Backstabber”

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Doctors & Dealers “Steal Your Life”

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Rubik is a Finnish indie pop band whose 3rd album, Solar, is an absolute masterpiece and one of my favorite releases so far this year. The band is made up of Artturi Taira, Samuli Poyhonen, Sampsa Vaatainen and Jussi Hietala and their sound brings to mind a Beatles-y, more pop version of The Flaming Lips. The amount of ideas that Rubik were able to cram into their new album, makes Solar the best excuse for buying a quality set of headphones and going for a walk around the neighborhood on a sunny warm day. As someone that tends not to listen to many songs that clock over 6 minutes in length, I have to say that I’ve not once felt the desire to skip either of the 2 lengthier tracks on Solar (or any of the other songs for that matter). Their music makes me want to skip around Central Park; hi-fiving strangers (and hopefully not being shot in the process). Tough to pick a fave, but check out the video for giddy album opener, World Around You, below.

*Rubik’s 3rd album, Solar, is out now on Fullsteam Records.

http://rubikband.net/

 

Rubik – World Around You (official video) from Fullsteam Records on Vimeo.

 

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