Daily Classic: Shitney Spears “3” (VIDEO)

This week of Daily Classics is going to be a little short as I got a late start to my week this week. And because I don’t believe I’ve ever featured any of Shitney Spears’ songs, I’m going to dedicate my week to my top 3 favorite songs by Ms. Spears of all-time.

This past weekend was a pretty crazy one by my grown-up boring standards and, in honor of the almost-3-some I had on Friday night, let’s appropriately kick off the countdown with my #3 Shitney song of all-time with her video for “3”.

3 was one of those songs that I didn’t give much of a chance to when it came out a couple of years ago as, rightly or wrongly, I tend to think that songs that represent the lead single from a greatest hits album are left-over b-side fodder. But 3 is easily one of the most catchy innuendo-filled songs she’s ever recorded.

Plus who doesn’t love a song about 3-somes?

3 was written by long-time collaborator, Max Martin, who has basically fathered the success of Britney’s entire career. Appropriately again, 3 was the 3rd number one hit for Spears here in the US and ended up being one of her most massive hits to date.

I don’t have any distinct memories to go along with the song 3 but, rest assured, I have plently of past experiences that I suppose I *could* draw upon. But I’ll leave those juicy tidbits for the Fred Hystere memoir, one of these days.

If you don’t own “3”, then buy it, biotch!


Daily Dickhead: Bryan Fischer

Bryan Fischer is officially the most worthless, disgusting, ignorant piece of shit living on this planet today thanks to his DISGUSTING comments in relation to the near-death beating of a transgendered woman at a McDonalds in Baltimore, MD last week.

Over the years I’ve met a few transgendered individuals and, from what I can gather, it’s a very tough life that they lead. Within the gay community there is a lot of ignorance towards transgendered individuals and I’ve even heard some of my fellow gays wonder out loud why transgendered people should be considered part of the gay community.

I’m very lucky to have been raised by parents that taught me to embrace everybody, no matter how *different* they might be. Do I know what it’s like to be a woman trapped in the body of a man or vice-versa? No, but you don’t need to understand difference to be able to embrace it.

Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association is no friend whatsoever to the gay community or anyone for that matter. He’s known for his appalling commentary on issues of race and sexuality, but his most recent comments have simply gone WAY too far.

This is what he said about the tragic beating of a transgendered woman in Baltimore last week:

“The victim appeared to be a woman. In the video, it looked like a woman [with] long hair. But at one point in the fracas, her wig is pulled off and you still think its a woman, looks like a woman, and she’s beaten to within an inch of her life, she winds up in convulsions on the floor.

And then we discover now that it was a guy all the time, it’s not a woman at all. It’s a transgendered woman, which means he’s a man, he’s a male. He’s a male in every single cell his DNA. Every single cell of his body, every strand of his DNA in his entire body is male. He’s not a woman, he’s not a transgendered woman, he’s not a transgendered female, he is a man. And here’s the deal: apparently he was getting ready to go into, or had been in, the ladies’ restroom.

And remember, Maryland came within one vote – I don’t know if you knew this – Maryland came within one vote of passing a law this last session that would have provided special protections for transgendered people, people who think they’re in the wrong body.

So if that law had passed, then this man would have had every legal right to go into the ladies’ restroom, even if there are young teenage girls present and nobody would have stopped him. In fact, if McDonald’s had tried to keep him, as a man, from going into the ladies’ restroom, if that law had passed McDonald’s is the one who would have got in trouble. They would have gotten sued, a potential franchise ending lawsuit.

That’s why we always call these things “bathroom bills” and this proves that we are right. This exactly shows you the hazard of these bathroom bills. You give special privileges to people based on deviant sexuality, you’re going to get in all kinds of trouble and all traditional norms of respect, privacy, civility, those are going to be completely shredded.”

If you can stomach it, scroll to the 6:10 mark of Fischer’s audio on the AFA website.



Daily Dickhead: Rick “Stockpiling Bibles Will Save Us” Joyner

Rick Joyner is today’s Daily Dickhead and you’ll know why in a minute. But first, let me give you a little background on the King of Crazytown.

Rick is the head of MorningStar Ministries in South Carolina which he founded with his wife, Julie Joyner, back in 1985. He’s written many books over the years, which are all conveniently listed with their ISBN numbers (without approval) on his Wikipedia page. Of the many quotable quotes Joyner has given us, a couple of my favorites include stating that the “Antichrist is the orthodox church” and that “America is under god’s judgment” and is “sending an earthquake to destroy California” and that it’s “all the fault of evil, wicked atheists.” Which leads me to his latest suggestion..

There have been no shortage of looney tooners waxing prophetic about the aftermath of the Japanese earthquake last month and claiming it to be an example of the beginning of the end of America. And Rick Joyner has been one of the loudest of the pack.

Now, for a minute, I want you to think of a list of allllllll of the different things you and your family would need just in case an earthquake destroyed the land around you. My guess is that food, clothing, water, shelter, and diapers (in case you freaked out and shit your pants) would be some of the things you’d probably have on your emergency list, right? And, by food, I’m going to assume you mean *both* types of food. You know, the edible kind and the spiritual kind. According to Rick Joyner:

“Instead of just preparing in the natural, it’s far more important that we prepare in the spiritual. Set aside food, water, but also spiritual food; bibles, bible studies, books – especially ones for new believers.”

(I wonder if my Jesus-shaped Popsicles count as “spiritual food”..)

He also informs us that without any power, people aren’t going to be watching videos (because apparently there are no DVDs in South Carolina and they’re still using VHS..) and are going to have plenty of time to read. So stockpile your bibles! In fact, buy so many of them that you can stack them allllll around the outside perimeter of your house in order to create a spiritual force-field that even the largest earthquake can’t penetrate!

I think it’s pretty clear that the people who end up surviving the impending Armageddon of earthquakes (that’s about to hit us ANY MINUTE), will be those that have listened to Rick Joyner. So next time you decide to go for a walk around a neighborhood that’s been devastated by an earthquake, make sure you take note of the houses that, amidst all of the destruction, are still standing. Are they surrounded by bibles?

If only they’d listened to Rick Joyner..

The Hotness: Aztec Records featuring Maighread & Disco Damage, Lady Joker, Cereal Killers

This week we’re doing things a little differently on The Hotness. While we will still feature 3 songs that are sure to make you horny, everyday those songs will belong to one of the four up-and-coming record labels that are among Fred Hystere’s favorites. At a time of uncertainty in the music industry, these labels are some of the select few that are doing it right thanks to 3 things: consistent quality, visionary thinking, and (most importantly) their passion for the artists they’re working with along the music those artists release. Today’s artists are all members of UK-based Aztec Records.


Maighread is an Irish dance diva who has the kind of vocal chops that, in a perfect world, would propel her to the top of the dance charts. Her single “In The Beginning” featuring Disco Damage sounds like a Grace Jones/Faithless orgy between Maighread’s sexy low vocals and Disco Damage’s wordplay. Her bio is tough to come by so I don’t have a whole lot more info for you, but I’ll do some digging and see if maybe I can score an interview with the lady herself in the near future to find out if she’s working on an album, etc. In the meantime, run-don’t-walk (virtually, of course) to iTunes to pick up her single In The Beginning. The TNTT remix is great as is the Disco Damage remix of her track “Sea”.

*Maighread and Disco Damage’s single “In The Beginning” is out now on Aztec Records




Maighread and Disco Damage “In The Beginning”




Lady Joker is a UK-based rapper and one of the few rappers you’ll see featured on Fred Hystere. I’ve never been much of a fan of rap as a genre but one of the few times I enjoy it, is when it’s paired with a dance track produced anywhere other than the US. (I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t like American rappers, by and large.) Lady Joker will be compared to contemporaries like Ms Dynamite and Lady Sovereign but, if her self-titled single, Lady Joker,  is any indication, I think she’s better than both. Her music is way  more fun than Lady Dynamite’s and way more mature than Lady Sovereign. She’s chosen the current trend of 90s dance music as her backdrop and the results make “Lady Joker” featuring Disco Damage one of the best dance-rap tracks in recent memory and incredibly remixable. Check it out below.

*Lady Joker’s self-titled single, Lady Joker, will be out 16 May on Aztec Records.



Lady Joker featuring Disco Damage “Lady Joker”




Cereal Killers made up of producer Bad Future and singer Evil Spirit..aaaaaaand I’m going to take a crazy guess that neither of those names are the names they were born with. They only have one song released thus far and it’s the fun, danc-y jam, Cool n the Gang. The song is catchy as hell and will no doubt have you bopping along on this boring Monday morning and through the rest of the week. It’s very difficult to find much info on these guys, but let’s hope that Cool n the Gang is a sign of things to come. Check it out below.

*Cereal Killers’ debut single, Cool n the Gang, is out now on Aztec Records.



Cereal Killers “Cool n the Gang”



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