Fred..

thinks that anyone that uses the terms ‘man up’ and ‘unamerican’ can shove their faux nationalistic machismo up their ass and sit on it. I’m so fucking sick of the emphasis placed on masculinity in this country..If anyone ever tells me to ‘man up’ they will soon find themselves searching for their missing testicles……and find them hanging from my Christmas tree.

Fred..

wants to spend 59 seconds on 60 Minutes.

Fred..

thinks that lesbians and gay men should trade beauty regimens..Gay men need to put the tweezers down, lesbians need to pick them up..Gay men wear too much make-up, lesbians need to put some on..I could go on and on. Someone lock KD Lang and Adam Lambert in a room for a week with nothing but beauty products..Let’s see what happens.

Fred..

is the son of a woman who, within a two minute span, not only managed to brand 4 different drivers on the road as ‘cocksuckers’..but was then able to begin (and end) a conversation with what is quite possibly my favorite question I’ve ever been asked: ‘Why don’t you date Anderson Cooper?’.. Before adding, ‘They don’t make homosexuals like that anymore.’

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